Johnny Depp, recently anointed People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive, is complicated. He looks like a pirate but is actually a doting father of two. He owns a private plane but rolls his own cigarettes and frequently dresses like a hobo. Despite cheekbones that have been touched by the hand of God, he regularly plays down his good looks in roles that feature bad teeth, bad hair and funny voices.

No problem. Women’s reasons for finding men attractive are also complicated, at least according to a new book called Why Women Have Sex, which lists 237 distinct reasons for falling into bed. It turns out that sexual attraction is a complex collision of evolutionary biology, individual psychology, cultural forces, free will and fluke, all of which get dishy coverage in People’s latest issue.

For example, Why Women Have Sex authors Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss point out that women like symmetry, which for early humans acted as a visible marker of genetic health. Certainly, People’s “110 hottest guys on the planet” are a pretty symmetrical bunch. Lenny Kravitz could even be promoted to the “fearful symmetry” category, so platonically perfect are the planes of his face.

Women love a high “shoulder-to-hip ratio,” as evidenced by Jerry O’Connell, who was snapped earlier this year wearing a Speedo during the filming of Piranha 3-D. People has jokingly followed up with a photo layout in which O’Connell shops for groceries and mows the lawn wearing nothing but a teeny-weeny red bathing suit. So yes, a V-shaped torso is nice, but constant evidence of shoulder-to-hip ratio is, frankly, alarming. (Bonus sexy points for self-deprecating humour, though. Chicks dig that.)

Women also value “resource acquisition ability,” which used to mean woolly mammoth meat but in the currency of People magazine means fame, and lots of it. Famous alpha males (think George Clooney) appeal to ovulating women, according to Meston and Buss, while nice, nurturing fellas (like The Office’s John Krasinski) get the glad eye the rest of the time. Covering both cads and dads, People veers between Eddie Cibrian looking dangerous at the Palms Hotel in Vegas and Hugh Jackman bending down to button his daughter’s sweater.

Then there’s relationship status. Single guys are tempting, of course — and People somehow makes it seem as if these guys are free this weekend and might just call you. But married men have built-in proof of their ability to commit: paradoxically, what makes them dreamy also keeps them off limits. The magazine plays it safe by mixing up bachelors with solid, steady family men.

Harder to explain, at least in scientific terms, is the mag’s homage to the current vampire craze. This may be the “sexiest men alive” issue, but it dedicates a whole section to guys who are technically dead, with breathless coverage of New Moon’s Robert Pattinson, True Blood’s Stephen Moyer, and The Vampire Diaries’ Paul Wesley and Ian Somerhalder.

Many of People’s choices have a kind of beefy inevitability: Madonna’s beau Jesus Luz, who is featured on the “Best Chests” page, has pecs you could break bricks on. But some of these guys offer quieter, stealthier qualities. Jim Parsons, who plays the physics geek on Big Bang Theory, proves that intelligence is sexy, while Seth Rogen makes the case for comedy.

And in the end, little things mean a lot. As Tina Fey says in support of the attractiveness of Alec Baldwin, her 30 Rock co-star: “If you went out to dinner with him, he’s not one of those guys who would judge you if you ate a lot.” Ooooh, now that’s sexy.
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